


Hold Onto Me

by the_13th_battalion



Series: Comfortember 2020 [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Gets a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Plo Koon, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Crying, Mild Blood, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Zygerria Arc (Star Wars: Clone Wars), Sad Anakin Skywalker, a bunch of other characters mentioned - Freeform, cant be one of my fics without it!, for a second at the end oop, mostly anakin, so the boys get hugs and cuddles, this is a result of me needing hugs and cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27765571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_13th_battalion/pseuds/the_13th_battalion
Summary: "You were never supposed to know," Anakin whispered, his tremulous voice cracking, "You were never supposed to understand what it's like."(or: after Zygerria, Obi-Wan and Anakin take a moment to talk.)
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: Comfortember 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999033
Comments: 38
Kudos: 290
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	Hold Onto Me

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO IT'S ANGST AND FLUFF HOURS WITH ME AGAIN!! I'm not quite back from the hell of working two retail jobs during this fun holiday season BUT I've been messing around with this fic for like a month and...I just need to stop. I need to post it. Idk I'm pretty happy with it but it could be trash! Let me know I guess! I just think they need to talk to each other, and maybe cry, and definitely hug.
> 
> I'm using the comfortember prompts "crying" and "ptsd" for this one!

The gentle whir of machinery coaxed Obi-Wan to awareness. Disorientated by blurred dreams, he held himself still and listened to the faint hum, originating from a source somewhere above his head. The soft sound accompanied the lingering wheeze in his chest. A warm weight rested in his palm; another's hand, his exhausted mind supplied, clutching his own uncurled fingers.

For a moment, he dared to hope. He imagined himself somewhere safe and clean, like his quarters on the _Negotiator_ or in the Temple. He imagined the hand in his was Anakin's, the vibrant boy waiting for him to wake so he could drag Obi-Wan on another adventure, instead of Rex monitoring his temperature and whispering mantras in Mando'a.

Hesitantly, he cracked his eyes open. To his utter shock, Anakin was there, sitting beside his bed. Anakin, with tousled hair and the glow of a faint light on his pale features. Anakin, his Force presence beaming even in its dimmed and strained state.

Obi-Wan stared. _I must be dreaming._

Because Anakin couldn't be in this hell. Not his Anakin, not his brother. Not this beacon of pure light and life and joy. Obi-Wan wouldn't allow it. Obi-Wan wouldn't let him be crushed under the weight of a metal collar, or bruised by a rough hand on his arm, or struck by an electrowhip and left with his face in the dirt to spasm from the electricity and bleed out from split, burning skin-

Obi-Wan blinked. The scene did not change.

_ Is this...real? _

Snatches and echoes of the past returned to the forefront of his exhausted mind. The way the light had returned to Rex's eyes as he tore the collar off of Obi-Wan. The adrenaline that had surged through his veins as he ran through darkened halls. The rhythmic thump of Anakin's rage and fear as it coursed through their bond like a third heartbeat. The _snap bang_ of a door thrust inward, broken heaps of metal clattering on the floor. Anakin's powerful footsteps as he marched through the doorway a moment later, that same storm of emotions swirling and pulsing around him.

The quiet ride back to the ship. The three of them huddled in a transport, Anakin pressed against his side, Ahsoka curled against the other. Then the flurry of motion as Anakin hustled Ahsoka and Rex off to the medbay, contrasted with Obi-Wan standing stock still in the hangar, surrounded by injured Togrutans, the blur of clones rushing past, his ears catching every little sound except the words Anakin so urgently said to him.

A strong hand on his elbow. Anakin's voice as it finally broke through the haze, asking- _begging_ -him to go to the medbay too. Obi-Wan had adamantly refused, insisting _there are others that need more help than I do, and besides, it's my fault they're hurt anyway, they deserve attention and I don't-_

Another hand, this one ghosting over his shoulder. A new voice, a familiar voice, that suggested private quarters instead. Anakin's bright eyes meeting his, silently willing him to accept this compromise. _It'll just be me and Kix, okay?_

He must have agreed. The next thing Obi-Wan remembered was fire licking at his back as Kix worked the shreds of his tunic off. The wretched gasps and moans he had muffled in Anakin's shoulder. His desperation as his aching fingers pulled at Anakin's clothes and the rasp of his own voice, begging him to _stop please stop it won't happen again I swear please stop hurting me-_

He blinked again. He took a deep breath. The bandages binding his torso tugged a little. His ribs protested and he winced, fisting his other hand in the blankets. Anakin's head snapped up. Obi-Wan caught a glimpse of wide, pale blue before his own eyes fluttered shut.

Anakin's free hand came to rest on Obi-Wan's head, warm fingers carefully blazing trails through sweaty hair. Obi-Wan tightened his hold on his hand. Anakin responded with careful circles rubbed along his torn knuckles.  


Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He stared at their entwined fingers, at the blood and dirt under chipped nails, at the tubes running out of his arm. He lifted his gaze to Anakin's face. He studied the red rimmed eyes, the down turned corners of quivering lips, the lingering snot on the edge of his nose, each breath less calculated than the first.

His heart ached. _What did that horrible woman do to him? What terrible lies did she whisper in his ear?_

"...n'kin... I..." Obi-Wan struggled to speak with his leaden tongue. _I'm sorry if I ever said anything belittling_ _about your past. I understand now, the horrors you went through, and I am so sorry._

Anakin squeezed his hand with both of his. "You don't have to say anything. I understand."

Obi-Wan could only groan in reply, followed by a frustrated huff.

A smile barely touched Anakin's lips. "Kix has got you on some pretty serious pain meds. I'm surprised you're even awake."  


_ I suppose I had to see _ you, Obi-Wan wanted to say. Instead, he let the sentiment course through their bond.

A deeper shadow crossed Anakin's face. He lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry."

_ For _ _what?_ Obi-Wan pressed.

"I was such an idiot," Anakin continued, fresh tears gathering in his eyes, "I shouldn't have blown our cover. I was just so _angry_. I wanted to make them pay."

The Force swelled with darkness. An involuntary shudder trailed down Obi-Wan's spine.

Just as quickly as it had come, the darkness vanished, replaced by sorrow and guilt. Anakin swallowed forcefully. "But I got you and Ahsoka and Rex captured. All of you paid for my mistakes. A-and I'm so sorry."

His shoulders shook with silent sobs. He pressed his trembling lips together. The tears he had valiantly restrained began to slip down his cheeks.

Obi-Wan's chest tightened. He willed his tongue to form the words he longed to speak, but it remained heavy and did not obey his command.

"You were never supposed to know," Anakin whispered, his tremulous voice cracking, "You were _never_ supposed to understand what it's like."

Anakin brought a hand up and pressed the heel of his palm to his eye. He let out a long, high pitched whine, followed by several guttural sobs broken with deep, chest rattling gasps for air.

Obi-Wan's heart shattered. He reached up a weakened, trembling hand. "An...n'kin."

Anakin needed no further invitation. He dove forward and huddled against Obi-Wan, burying his face in his chest. Obi-Wan held him as tight as his waning strength would allow. He carded his fingers through Anakin's curls and flooded their bond with warmth, light, and above it all, understanding.

At last, his worn body allowed him to speak. "None of this was your fault, padawan mine."

"Wasn't yours either."

A faint smile touched Obi-Wan's features. He closed his eyes and let the tension ease out of his shoulders. He pressed a kiss to the top of Anakin's head. _I know, dear one._

The two remained in each other's embrace until long after Anakin's sobs had subsided and sleep overcame them both.

Obi-Wan dreamed of standing in an open plain of flowers, the breeze ruffling his hair and flower petals dancing in his palm. He dreamed of Anakin's laughter, and of Ahsoka, running and tumbling through the field, both of them youthful and unburdened. He dreamed of Rex, Cody, and countless other men passing him in a hallway, all of them safe and happy.

He dreamed of Qui-Gon Jinn, his arms wrapped securely around Obi-Wan, tucked under his chin, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. He dreamed of Satine, back in that field of flowers, with sunlight in her eyes and his name on her lips.

All his peace sailed through to Anakin, and the two slept on, the weight of the world finally lifted off their shoulders.

And if Plo Koon found them hours later in a heap of tangled limbs and pleasant dreams, if he tucked another blanket around them and smoothed their hair as if they were still younglings, he never said.

**Author's Note:**

> Trash??? Probably


End file.
